For me, blogs are all about conversation. Conversations about Bush’s foreign policy, classic movies, the most recent book in Oprah’s book club, theological dilemmas, etc. These are all great things that need to be talked about. But let’s be honest…most blogs are not for all of us. Some are over our heads and others use words like “kumtuxism”, and quite frankly we don’t know what that means. So I thought we should talk about something that resonates deep within us all…

COOKIES!!

Upon receiving my green box of Girl Scout cookies, I have been inspired. So without further rambling, here are my top 5 cookies:

Circus Animal Cookies: Now while this may not be your favorite, is there anyone out there who does not like these things? Eating these is like Sunday school on crack. Eat about 20 of these while building a cabin out of popsicle sticks. It’s a guaranteed good time.

Chewy Chips Ahoy: Don’t get me started. I know you think they are gross, but you are wrong. Take your brown bagged chunky chips, your rainbow chips, even your blue original chips ahoy and shove it. Chewy is the best. Ya, so what if the chocolate chips taste like raisins sometimes? They are chewy and chewy is good.

The Thin Mint: I just happen to have opened a box. Well, I opened the box the other day, ate one, and then stuck them in the fridge. Is there anything better than a chilly thin mint? There is no doubt in my mind that this is the best Girl Scout cookie. Do-si-dos are just trying to be as good as Nutter Butters, those shortbread cookies taste like you are having cheap communion, Tagalongs are from the devil, and lets be honest those coconuts things, they are dog food biscuits. Those little girls should be punished for selling those things to humans. Thin mints rule and the rest simply drool.

The Oreo: This is a strange relationship. I don’t actually like eating the cookie…I just like it in everything. Cookies and Cream is my favorite ice cream flavor. I love Oreo cookie crust on cheesecake. My late night craving is a Jack in the Box Oreo shake. I love the flavor of Oreo, but I cannot eat the cookie plain. Strange, isn’t it? And before you ask…yes I have tried dipping it in milk…its not good.

Nilla Wafer: What was that?! Did you just say…do not call them VANILLA wafers!! It is NILLA!! Now that that is out of the way, this is one of my favorite cookies. It connects me to my childhood. I remember eating these by the handful while I watched the Price is Right with my great grandma. You know what always bugged me about Nilla Wafers? That grocery stores sell them next to the bananas. Do people really slice up bananas and put them on their disc of Nilla? Of course not. Move them right next to the cash register where they belong.

Honorable Mention: Milano Cookies, Nutter Butters, Fortune Cookies, and Mrs. Fields cookies.

Of course this list is only taking precooked cookies into account. I am a huge fan of a fresh cookie.

Let’s talk about all things cookies. What is your favorite over the counter cookie? What is your favorite cookie that grandma makes? What is your favorite kind of cookie to bake at home? Do you dip your cookies? Would you rather eat cake? If you would rather eat cake, I would question your sanity. Perhaps you need therapy. Cookies are the best.

Talk cookies.

"I often wonder if New York is really a diverse environment. It is diverse in the sense that it hosts a vast number of diverse circles, but these circles tend to be disconnected from one another. I would even say that people within each circle are a lot more similar ideologically, intellectually and educationally than any "non-diverse" environment of a small town, where different people have to learn how to live together. In a big city, one can pick who you're going to spend time with, so one doesn't have to adapt. Without this, people grow apart, perhaps even stop understanding or feeling for the "other" group of people. With sufficient geographic clustering over the span of several generations, one again ends up with borders, civil wars and similar. And with the internet, one can grow apart without even moving, meaning that we can see this clustering at a faster and faster rate and the consequent conflict even sooner."

A fellow community curious blogger recently wrote these words. They echo what I had said a few months ago in regards to community clusters. Lately I have heard these clusters called "echo chambers". I find that name to be helpful. When you are in a cluster your words, your style, and your language all echo back to you. You find that those you spend time lack patience for the same things that frustrate you. The same people you hate are hated by those in your cluster. Your opinion about politics, genetics, therapy…they are all echoed back to you.

That does not sound like diversity. That sounds like high school cliques. It sounds like cowardly relationship.

Here is a portion of my previous post:

As the world continues to globalize, ironically, there are increasing numbers of specialized communities. In other words, as the world gets smaller, a gay basket weaving African American can find hundreds of other gay basket weaving African Americans. You can get on MySpace and you can find others who are exactly like you. I can get online and find a married, Cubs fan, who is over six feet tall, who's name is Jarrod (or jared, or jarod, or jarred) and we could start our own facebook group.

As this happens the world does get smaller yet it creates further division. If I embrace these specialized communities I could avoid other races all together. I could never talk to a White Sox fan. I could avoid everyone that voted for Al Gore. I could never speak to a homosexual. I can do that if I choose. Why? Because I can stay within my niche communities.

This lack of diversity kills true community.

Whether a family, a city, a church, or a country…community will continue to be misinterpreted as it becomes easier to find "your kind".

We must find ways to welcome diversity. We must fight the temptation to only associate with those who define themselves in similar ways. We must not just sit at the jock table in the cafeteria…we need to make our way over the "too smart for honors classes" table. We must leave our "bedroom communities" and enter into the family room where we can mingle with many.

Only as we do these things will we find connection…and only here will we begin to care. I believe that that connection and care, mixed with creativity, will lead to world changing, positive influence.

_________________________________________________

So what is the deal? How have you seen diverse community worked out in your life? Do you find yourself in "echo chambers"? Do you find that those you interact with differ little in opinion? Do you often find your relationships guilty of "group think"? How can we move towards community while honoring the uniqueness of every individual?

It's easier to love on Valentine's day, is it not? It's easy to give flowers, its easy to give those bears with magnet noses, and its easy to make breakfast in bed for your lady (I started this tradition 8 years ago…little did I know that I will have to do that for the rest of my life.) It is simply easier to give love on this day. But is it not always easier to give love than to receive it?

I would argue that it is always easier to give love.

I will never forget rolling down the ONE Kauai freeway on my honeymoon with my new wife. Just a few rainy days into our marriage she showed me love in a way that I had never experienced. As we drove, we revisited stories from our childhood. As we shared, I told am ugly story of physical abuse from my past. While trying to keep my dry eyes on the road, I began to paint the tragic picture and…she wept. Taryn wept over the abuse that I frequently made light of. As she cried, I said, "don't cry for me…don't cry about this story. Its not big deal and it has nothing to do with you." She responded by squeezing my hand to physically express the immense pain she felt for me. She squeezed my hand for minutes. Many minutes. I had never been loved like this…and it was difficult, for me, to receive that kind of love. This is simply an example that...

Giving love is often easier than receiving love.

When we receive love we often feel guilty. If guilty is too strong a word, perhaps uncomfortable is better. We think, how could someone love me knowing that I ________? How could someone know the deepest, darkest, eeriest parts of my soul and still meet me with a kiss? How could someone cry over my pain?

What makes it so difficult to receive love is that we know that we are often unworthy of the love that we receive. We are unworthy of those kissy bears, big screen TVs, and heart shaped pizzas. We are unworthy of the thank you note, the 14 dozen roses, and the $11,000 engagement ring. We become uncomfortable because we feel unworthy. There is something very humiliating (humiliation can be a positive thing!!) about admitting that we are not worthy of gifts, acts of kindness, and immaculate dates (not to mention that we are often undeserving of the grace, forgiveness, and patience that comes along with those forms of love).

Receiving love requires humility.

So often we love others because it is comfortable. So often, personally, I love others because it is easier for me than being loved. I can keep others at a distance through my loving of them…because I do not have the humility to allow others to love me and the darkest corners of my story.

This Valentine's Day it is my hope that I can love Taryn…and allow Taryn the pleasure of loving. With all that being said…do you agree with me? What makes it difficult for you to receive love? Do you find it easier to receive love? Think of (and comment on) an example where you experienced, undeserved, unconditional love. Was it comfortable? Was it easy? Do you struggle with humbling yourself before the Other so that they may love even the ugliest parts of who you are?

No Altar, No Pews, Not Even a Roof, but Very Much a Church

These walls are sacred.
They reflect the work of thousands of years. Thousands of priests. Thousands of martyrs.

These walls are sacred.
They bring me comfort. Peace. Safety.

These walls are sacred.
They are humming the songs of the past. The present The future.

These walls are sacred.
But they are not to be an escape. A bomb shelter. A hiding place.

These walls are sacred.
We must know when to leave them.

Now it's no secret that we love our tears up here at Mars Hill Graduate School. There is something about digging into your story that brings insecurities, questions, and pain that you have gone your whole life trying to avoid. Crying, in those moments, seems fitting. It feels pure. It feels clean.

You know when crying does not feel fitting? When you are taking a breather at the gym in between French press sets. When you are driving in the car to go pick up Shane so that you can hit balls at the driving range. When you are sitting at home working on your MySpace page. When you walk into Starbucks to grab a grande light foam soy white mocha. In those moments, crying feels strange. But you do anyways…why? Because in those moments music hits you…and you cry.

MUSIC MAKES ME CRY.

Please tell me I am not alone in this. Please tell me that music tugs at you people in moments that you least expect…and you shed a little tear. Maybe all of you tough guys who have not cried in over a year are thinking, "this guy sure is soft…I hope he is ready for the homosexual ridicule that I am going to leave him at the bottom of this post". And maybe I am soft...and you can bring on the ridicule. But…if you have a soul…music grabs it, twists, stomps on it, kicks it in the kidneys, spits it in its face, gives it a hug…and communicates something to you that simple words cannot. The songs that make you cry are the same songs that you cannot help but scream out at the top of young lungs. Right?

So without further rambling, my pop driven SONGS THAT MAKE ME CRY.

Gavin's song – Marc Broussard
The first time I heard this song, Marc played to close his concert. This song is an honest message to his son that he rarely spends time with. "I wish I could be there…but I can't"

No Sleep – The Cardigans
If you do not own this disc…go buy it now. It may be the saddest CD I own. The chorus of this song is a bittersweet look into loneliness. "And if I had one wish fulfilled tonight, I'd ask for the sun to never rise. If God lent his voice to me to speak I'd say 'go to bed, world!'"

Fields of Gold/Over the Rainbow – Eva Cassidy
If you are not familiar with Eva…you are silly. These songs are brought to life with her tender vocal.

Hands - Benjamin Gate
This song is a blast from the past and continues to be a reminder of my fragility. "God I need your grace…let your spirit rescue me. God I need your love…let your grace shine through me"

The Blower's Daughter– Damien Rice
I could have mentioned a couple Damien Rice songs. If you do not have the new disc, go buy it.

Make This Go on Forever – Snow Patrol
Really the first 4:30 of this song is just the foreplay for one of my favorite closing hooks. "Please just save me from this darkness". Just fast forward to about 4:30…then repeat that line for a good two minutes.

Latter Days – Over the Rhine
This may be the saddest song I have ever heard.

If Tomorrow Was Forever – The Normals
Most of these songs have stories behind them…this one is no different. This song was a crutch for me in the midst of many relational difficulties.

Silence – Jars of Clay
I sang this song a number of times over the years…and I could not sing it without getting choked up. The honest frustration with the silence of God is compelling. "I got a question…where are you?"

Currents – Sleeping at Last
The prayer to be pulled back to shore is a constant as I go throughout my day.

Walk On – U2
After a long day in Las Vegas, NV I attended my first U2 concert. It was October of 2001. As U2 played this song they projected the names of all who had died in the September 11^th attacks. They did not simply project the names on screens…they projected them on the audience. As this song played I had the names of fathers, mothers, children, fireman, business men…scrolling across my face. I lost it. Today, when I hear this song, I cannot help but revisit that powerful moment.

Where the Streets Have No Names – U2
With or Without You – U2
Miracle Drug – U2
Kite – U2
All of the other U2 songs are a result of many shows in the midst of many life situations. If you can come to a U2 concert (with the Mugford and I), song your heart out, jump around…and not get choked up. You don't have a soul. So here is the deal…if you go to a show with us next tour, and you don't get choked up, shed a tear, reevaluate your life, question your reason for existence, etc…I will give you your money back.

When the Tears Fall – Tim Hughes
This is a gorgeous song. Playing this song, with my dear friends, on Good Friday is one of my favorite moments in the MPCC building. This song speaks to the battle that roars in all of us as we engage life's struggles. This song was an anthem for me as my mom was in the midst of her mysterious kidney illness. "When hope is lost, I'll call you Savior. When pain surrounds, I'll call you healer. When silence falls, you'll be the song within my heart".

Edge of Love – Mindy Smith
I wish I was lying when I tell you that this song broke me down in Starbucks. As I drank my vanilla bean frapachino (which tastes exactly like vanilla ice cream), this song came on, and the ol' tear ducts started spreading some juicy love. "Maybe I'm your leap of faith…I know its right because you're my amazing grace."

That ends the list. Of course all of these are closely followed by I'll Be, Hanging by a Moment, Goodbye my Lover, Iris, I Hope You Dance, Emily, Red Red Wine, One Sweet Day, and All My Life (I apologize if those songs actually make you cry).

Why don't you try downloading those tracks, mix them with your own "crying songs playlist" (which you should comment on), light some candles, write a letter to someone you love…and have a good cry. You in?

This week is full of questions. Like: can the Bears put pressure on Peyton Manning? Will Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson be able to run the ball through the heart of this rejuvenated Colts defense? Can Rex Grossman avoid getting trashed and running away with four or five prostitutes who will then report him and thus suspend him from playing on Sunday? If he does get suspended how will Brian Griese play?

All of those are great questions. But, believe it or not, those are not the questions that have been slowly picking at my conscious.

This trimester, my favorite class up to this point, has been Mission in a Global Context. It has me thinking about these questions:

• When entering a different culture, there is a battle between the redemption of a culture (naming violence, etc) and the desire to “save ‘em and get ‘em in”. Which side of the pendulum do I tend to swing to?
• What is the difference between progress…and redemption? How can we communicate the gospel without describing Jesus as a fix all?
• “The church started as a missionary movement in Jerusalem, moved to Rome and became an institution, it traveled to Europe and became a culture, It crossed the Atlantic to America and became a big business”…what is next?
• How can we, as Christians, live into individualism, globalization, or materialism and not disregard them as evil, but redeem them in a way that more effectively shows God?
• What does it mean to be missional? Can we live missional lives while still taking the time to live incarnationally? In other words, can we live lives of mission while carrying for the whole of another? Can we living missonally be something more than an “us vs. them” battle?

Fun questions, huh? It is my hope not to find resolute answers to these questions but to continue to view our world, our culture, with these concerns in mind.

Perhaps this is a bad idea…but I am going to try it and see how it goes. After a couple recent conversations, I have decided that many of our classic worship songs have some theological holes. What I am going to begin to do, with this post, is look at a few modern worship songs and dissect their theology. Perhaps a better way to put it is, I am going to talk about why I feel icky when I sing this song.

I am going to begin with a song straight form the book of Psalms. Who am I to critique the theology of David (or whoever authored this psalm)? Good point…maybe I won’t. Let me just explain why this song makes me feel icky.

BETTER IS ONE DAY

How lovely is
Your dwelling place
Oh Lord Almighty,
For my soul longs
And even faints
For You
Oh, here my heart
Is satisfied (is satisfied)
Within Your presence
I see beneath
The shadow of
Your wings

To be honest with you, the first verse is just fine. While there is some verbage that could be nitpicked (satisfied, shadow)…my soul does long for God...and at this point in the song I am hoping that God’s dwelling place is referring to more than God’s courts. Which takes us to the chorus…

Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere

This chorus makes me angry. In scripture, the author is writing this Psalm, speaking of the temple or a tabernacle. The author is talking about the pre-Jesus location where God was said to dwell. At a tabernacle there were altars, incense, sacrifices, etc. It was here where God was worshiped and where God was said to respond. In the midst of war, trial, and disease they went to the temple to escape the chaos of their world. It was here that people had an encounter with God. When I look back at the Old Testament days, I think, “Ya, I would definitely have wanted to be in the temple for one day rather than be out at war getting stonned and stabbed.” Tabernacles, “God’s courts”, were a vital place for the OT people of God. But today things are different. Today we are in a POST-Jesus age and it feels weird to sing those words. If we believe in the incarnation, that Jesus came to earth, and if we believe in the Pentecost, that the spirit of God was left here with his people…then we should not be singing about an escape to the courts of God. God is among us. God is in nature. God is in you. God is in me. Soooo…why in the world would we refer to an “elsewhere”? Is not all of earth God’s courts?

One thing I ask,
And I would seek,
To see Your beauty
To find You in
The place Your glory dwells

This verse makes me cry. Now again, perhaps I just feel icky because I feel like this song was written for pre-incarnation/pre-pentecost times, but why in the world are we asking to see God’s beauty. OPEN YOUR EYES! Come up to my roof top on a clear day here in Seattle…watch the sunset over the sound and marvel at the six or seven different colors that show themselves. There is beauty everywhere. God dwells everywhere. Around every corner, in every tree, in every mountain, in every rain drop (imagine that seatlites!).

So there. That is why singing this song makes me feel icky. I am not trying to communicate that the song is evil, or that those who program it should go to seminary (I programmed the hell out of this song at HC3), I am simply saying that this song does not use language that I would use to communicate with the God of the universe that I encounter daily.

Any suggestions for the next “why singing this song makes me feel icky?"