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Sunday, January 7, 2007

Junk Drawer - Pre School


Before school actually starts, I thought I would empty out bring cyberspace another rendition of THE JUNK DRAWER.

I want to begin with this. If you did not click it…please click it. Now, if you just glance at that Banana Bunker you are probably thinking I sent you to some dirty site where they sell naughty little sex toys. That is not the case at all. Some guy named Paul Stremple, who apparently worked with Gucci, Polo, Louis Vuitton, and Chanel, invented a case to keep your banana firm. The same guy who designed your $4700 purse made a $5 case for a banana. HUH?! That’s like saying that the guy who found the cure for polio was the guy who created Honey Smacks. Anyways…this guy’s invention is a good idea. Everyone gets frustrated when they want a firm banana and they find a bruised, mushy, floppy mess. You know what I am talking about right? Right? So I applaud you Paul Stremple. Thank you for creating a device to keep my banana firm.

Just last week there was the craziest play I have ever seen. No, not the Boise St./Oklahoma Fiesta Bowl…I am talking about the Dallas Stars hockey game. Of course I did not see this live, because I don’t watch hockey…because hockey, while difficult to play, is just a big bore. Right Shane and Jimmy? Let me set this clip up…the Dallas Stars are up 5-4 with 15 seconds left and Stefan, a Dallas Star, is breaking towards the empty net. Now watch. Un-be-livable.

While we are on sports, here is an article about the next Michael Jordan. Literally.

Did anyone here see the Dick Tracy movie as a child? I loved that movie when it came out. I got the action figures and I bought a piss yellow trench coat, but I was always missing the most important ingredient…THE WATCH. I always wanted a watch that was a phone. Now I can have one. And you can too. If someone bought me this I would not be upset.

As others read my blog, I am often asked…who’s blog do you read? Well, I read A LOT. Do I read yours? Probably not. If you want me to read yours…subscribe to mine…and then I subscribe to yours. It’s a good deal. If you do visit a number of blogs may I recommend a google tool to you…GOOGLE READER. By using Google Reader I can visit once page each day and see if Malcolm Gladwell, Blaine, Mark Driscoll, or Mark Cuban have added a post.

Do you have a New Years resolution? I do. There is the obvious…”get back in shape because I am an overweight ex-highschool athlete who still thinks he has it” then there is the, “be more involved in class”, and then the more random, “write thank you notes in a timely manner”.

A week or so ago I read this really funny article in the NYPOST. Myspace is a crazy world.

Speaking of MySpace, now that Facebook lets anyone in (college students: can you believe that? Why would anyone think that those who have not gone to college are deserving of an online community? Those dummies need to stay on MySpace!), do you guys use it? What other sites do you use? Do you have a blog or online journal at a neutral site? MSN Spaces? Xanga? Blogspot? Typepad? Hi-5? Tagworld? What else do you guys use to waste hours a day?

Straight out of a movie. A three year old child falls from the fourth floor into some random guy’s arms. Only in New York does a baby crawl out of window…onto a fire escape…and then dangle himself over a street. Only in New York. This may be the same baby that Dave Chappelle talks about selling crack on the corner and sneaking into clubs. Silly baby. The article says that “briefly took her eyes off of him”. Briefly? The kid opened a window, crawled out, made his way to the fire escape, and walked to the edge…briefly? How long did it take you to notice that window was open and the kid was gone? Can you imagine these guys who caught this kid ringing your doorbell and saying, “hey babysitter, we caught this kid downstairs...AFTER HE FELL FOUR STORIES!!” While many may read this story as an act of heroism…I see it as a lesson in babysitting. First of all, mandatory eye exams for baby sitters. Second of all, mandatory spy cams for when you hire a baby sitter. Third, don’t live in New York and have kids.

The drawer is empty…and that’s a good thing because class starts on Monday. Expect fewer blogs, less interesting ideas, and frustration. Doesn’t that sound fun?

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