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Monday, February 2, 2009

My Championship Quota: Why I am Mad at Michael Jordan


Over the course of my life I have been a fan of six professional sports teams.

The Chicago Cubs and Arizona Diamondbacks in baseball.
The Phoenix Suns and Chicago Bulls in basketball.
The Chicago Bears and Arizona Cardinals in football.

Over the course of my twenty-four year life these six teams have combined to win eight championships. I witnessed the 1985 Bears (I almost don't count this one because I was hardly walking), the 2001 Diamondbacks (I went to two of those WS games), and of course Michael Jordan's six championships with the Chicago Bulls. But while those three teams have amassed eight championships, the other three teams (Suns, Cardinals, and Cubs) have no championships. In fact they have ZERO in the last 60 years.

That huge disparity has inspired me to do a little math. Before I begin the math, let me confess that I now only cheer for three of those six teams: the Cubs, Suns, and Bears. I don't live in AZ and don't dig the color change of the Diamondbacks, never really supported the Cardinals other than as a home town wintery distraction, and my love for the Bulls ended with Scottie Pippen's career (Matt will tell you that I was just a front runner). So now on to my AP level word problem...

If each sports fan cheers for one team in each sport, and the average league has 30 teams, then each year the odds of your team winning a championship is 1/30. If you add that up in the big three sports (sorry hockey) then you have a 1 in 10 chance of one of your teams winning a championship each year. If this stat holds true then I have already witnessed the same amount of championships that the average sports fan should experience in 80 years of life. If we continue along that line of thought, that means I will not see another one of my teams win until I am 81, or 2066. At that point the Cubs will have been without a championship for 157 years.

All of that to say that it is my fault the Cardinals lost. I have met my championship quota.

Michael Jordan, Walter Payton, and Luis Gonzalez's little blooper have filled my championship bucket full and I will not see another winner until I am wearing adult diapers.

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